My tears always flows nowdays..i can say..almost every night..not only before i sleep..even when im alone...lonely n empty feeling...filling my heart...i cant bear anymore...
too much things to be done....i dont regret doin last mins...but i juz stress coz i no feeling or mood in doin it...i hate my assignment...juz plz stand away from me..if i could say that....if it really can be true....juz stay away from me...i dun wanna even think about it anymore...
I wanna cosplay this sunday...my dream nearly come true...i wish to cosplay since before...never thought it gonna be real..i tried every single things to make it be great...i dun expect it to be perfect...but i hope it would be interesting n maybe little attractive...i tried to make everything to look the same...but i know...it juz cant...still ahve little things to finish up n touch up....i juz wish my dream for this one will come true...
Im stress n tension...clash wif my assignment time...i know i shud do it sooner...but my heart stop me...as i said before..i feel like wanna drop the subject...but wat can i do..?i said to myself..i will try to finish it as best as i can...but wat come to my mind is...is it will make it?i more interested n care to my cosplay rather than assignment...it much to do...my head juz cant take it...i wanna focus on the things i like..i wanna make my dream come true...as my efforts in cosplay..all the money i save for it...i juz wish....juz for this one..at least for this year..or this time...or awhile...i wan it to come true...i juz wish i can forget about assignment for awhile...n enjoy my cosplay...
it hurt me that..how can i say to my parent..i wanna drop the subject..i dun wan them to worry or sad or disappoint in me...i gave so much burden to them...but it still no point if i continue...i would give more weight on them..i wanna stop now than making everyone more suffer...
now im thinking..im too stress...i wanna complete my cosplay things...but i wanna do assignment also..there no time for assignment anymore after this..i dun wan my cosplay day ruin juz like that...the dream i hoping before..till now...i dun wan it destroy straight away in front of me...it juz cant....seeing my assignment taking rule over my cosplay....it really cant be...feel like assignment ruin my dream...but i know..i cant say like that...yet...im still angry...furious n this hatred grows more everyday as i see...i cant make decision for my own life...im tired n exhausted...
plz...juz go away for awhile stress...i juz cant endure the pain n tears anymore...u juz too much for me..i wanna shout everytime i can...i wan fulfill wat i wan...juz lemme do it..for one day...lemme do my best in cosplay...make that one day...juz one day enuff for me to enjoy n feel the happiness i wish for since before...i dun ask for more...juz one day...i appreciate it deep from my heart...let it be the greatest n special day ever for me..
"Let my gasping be my breathing for a little tiny time for this vain heart..."
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