It so exhausting...Keep bringing back those pains u aldy threw away...As we know...they may gone away from us...but those scars that left behind...cant be destroy at all...simply say...no matter how hard u try to vanish it...it remains forever...how much u forget...it still there...cant be deny...will always there...the time when u get into another pain...those past pains coming back control u along with the new pain...juz how strong u are to endure it...everyone can do that...if they believe in themselves...but for me...not anymore i guess...maybe before...but now i aldy lost those important things inside of me...
Break or Stop?...I wish I can take stop...but I juz cant...coz it the reality...in this world...u juz cant stop...wat u do...day by day...even u stop from doing anything in ur life..juz sit there doin nothing...still..ur breath keep on gasping for oxygen...it will continue...unless u die...It juz impossible to expect the things u dun wan to be stop...while the things u luv to continue dancing around u...it juz...impossible...
Break or Stop?...Choosing break?...will it change after the break to the things u wan?...it possible..if ur will strong n courage enough to make it come true...but not me...even i take break path...i dun think it will change...u need something unbelievable n unexpected miracle in the break time to bring u back to life after been through in those dark hole...easy say...break doesnt effect me at all unless extraordinary thing enter my heart...i wish for it...but..till now i dun see any...
Both seem vain ways for me huh...I dun see light coming through me in this year...everything juz seem not right n always wrong...tears aldy became compulsory for me...flows each days i can say lately....it embarassing but somehow..the only way to reduce a bit of my pains...even though it not work anymore...i still feel the same...a little bit things touched my heart...this tears juz unconsciously fall without warning...
I realize..I nearly lost all part of me...as i step in adult world...i wish time can turn back to the scenes i want...
those sweet memories aldy been taken by those bitter memories....tried very best juz words to keep moving forward...but cant fool me anymore...
My heart aldy became half stone...My soul trapped in darkness...as I barely believe in any hopes anymore since those moments that I been cheated...Surrounding me only vain hopes that keep on coming...I beg that give me no more fake hopes....I'm juz really tired....
I wanna put final decision...I wish everyone can agree with it...coz I only see death path n fake heart only in my life now...I cant live with it...this is juz not who i am...i change a lot..but not to the way i want it to be..the opposite of it that killing my desire...Longing for my old self...praying that something will pull me to those dreams back.............
~" To the moment where my fantasies never die..."~
